Saturday, February 21, 2009

Wow, I couldn't believe that I played mahjong with 5 people for 10 hours last night. Yes, 5 people. We took turns to play and I switched to be partners with SL in the end. Winning and losing and winning and finally lost $2, I totally enjoyed myself. SL was really cute as he, as usual said the funniest things as we played, and caused me to lose my glam when laughing. :PP Shall we have more 0f such sessions in the future?

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What if things were to go back to half year ago, what would I do to change the history?

The days in NIE just ended yesterday. Happy times pass quickly. I believe.

We started off as strangers and everyday was just about school and home in the beginning. I don't remember when we began to be good friends. We laughed together, we ate together and we gossiped together. Those times were good.

What if things were to go back to half year ago, what would I do to change the history?

Nothing.

It was a learning process with every step I took. Even though I made a few mistakes, I was glad that each time, I gained something insightful at the end of the day.

I don't want to lose the friendship. Even though we will not be with each other if things go wrong again, the care and concern for one another will still exist in the virtual world. I am sad to say goodbye to them as classmates. When my heart was broken, it was them who stayed with me.

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Speaking of that, speaking of my lousy failure in my last relationship, I thought it would take me a long time or forever to find someone who will make me laugh and miss again. Then he appeared in my life. He was there all along, as a friend. I don't recall when I started to have that kind of feeling... unexplanable. However, someone who could make me think of him now and then, and make me have the urge to sms him, must be very different. I must be stupid to have this kind of feeling for a man, especially when I hate men so much. Haha, many people have come into my life after my breakup, with gifts and flowers. I felt almost nothing, not even for that lousy and disgusting doctor. Yet, I choose to set my eyes on someone like him.

On the other hand, I am scared. I am scared that the history would repeat itself. I am scared of rejections. Life is practical and realistic. I think I just have to continue living in my dreams of him telling me that he likes me too. I will be sad, so I rather let things remain the way they are now. I have no guts, you may say that. Many a times, I showed him that I cared. However, I don't know whether he is that sensitive to think that I am having a change of attitude towards him.

Nevertheless, I wish them all well for the practicum and I look forward to seeing them in 10 weeks' time. :))

Posted by Buzz and Mulan at 7:54 PM