Tuesday, June 23, 2009
I deleted the sweet messages he had sent me in more than 2 years, leaving only the apologetic ones, telling me how he wished to be alone and we should break up. They will continue to remind me how a big liar he was, how stupid I was to believe in love and how unreliable men are.
People talk about karma to me, about how I shouldn't treat men badly now. No one knew what I've gone through. Men deserve it, deserve to be dead.
Posted by Buzz and Mulan at 11:46 AM
I think I don't need a boyfriend. Happy alone now. Or, maybe the right one hasn't appeared. I feel good with my frens, not with someone who I cannot communicate at all. I want to discuss things intelligently. Everything that happens on Earth.
Posted by Buzz and Mulan at 11:41 AM
Tuesday, June 09, 2009
Looking back, I called this one year a truly happening one. One of the greatest upsets I have had in life, the break-up has made me a very different person now. Why did he do the things he did? There is no point pondering upon those now.
Exactly one year ago, we broke up. Exactly one year ago, I was crying. Exactly one year ago, I only had one word in my mind... Why.
Now I'm here, flashing back the memories, not those happy times we had spent together, but those when I grew thinner... and thinner... those when I sat down at a corner of my bedroom, crouching and sobbing non-stop.
I'm happy that I've moved on. I do think of him now and then. Inevitable. Friends of mine should know that he WAS my life then. A big mistake I had made. I regretted being his shadow for more than 2 years.
It was a painful process, to step out of a space I called ours. Now I can't wait to shed all relationships with them. I do not mind keeping the friendships, but trust me, I ain't going to feel any better if we still keep in contact. I had said that I would wait for him to come back. What a joke, how silly. Nothing in this world is eternal. This is something he has taught me. Love can never last forever. I hate him.
I thank God for giving me the strength to move on, the courage to start anew and the guts to be a stronger woman. I thank my family for being supportive, for asking nothing about my broken relationship for fear of stirring my emotions. I thank my friends for being the greatest pals and playmates when I need them.
Gone were the dark days and here comes my new life. I have someone now and he is indeed very good to me. I know he's not gonna like this blog entry, but I'm sure he will understand where I'm coming from. I shall keep my fingers crossed. I just want a peaceful, undisturbed life.
Fate plays jokes on everyone's lives. Just a phase we are going through.
Posted by Buzz and Mulan at 2:00 PM