Friday, March 06, 2009
I believe in falling in love once again, if he feels the same too.
Today I had a really bad, bad day. Such a fool I am, to end up in this school. The price I'm paying now is hours of disciplining and other useless activities.
So everyday the story goes, in my heart, I curse and swear at every lesson. I stormed out of class almost everytime. I could not let go of the high expectations I have, not of the students, but of myself. I take every possible step to make sure they take something with them from my lesson. What an ancient thinking. Yet, I must choose to let go of this unhappiness. I'm learning and trying now. I want to be a relaxed teacher (dream on)! I painted such a good picture of my future but as the months pass by, I realise I am losing grip of my aspirations slowly, from love to career. I am a strong-willed person since young. I put lots of effort into things I want to do. The problem is, when they fail, I fall heavily. However, I climb up fast too.
There are people who tell me students are always like this, blah blah blah. If he or she is not a teacher, the understanding of how it feels to be one will never be achieved. This person may have many encounters with teenagers, but to handle them academically and also on a personal level, is not easy.
Anyway, although I'm scared, I'm scared of what are to come in a few months' time, I still want to be what I am now.
Posted by Buzz and Mulan at 8:46 PM